| WHEATUS
London Astoria
Gig review
Well I missed Wheatus the first time they came to
the UK; at least I think it was the first time. It was just before
'Teenage Dirtbag' hit the charts and the gig was in Camden. Not
my most favourite of places, so I gave it a miss. Of course, with
the single hitting the number one spot they were obviously going
to tour sooner or later, this time I wasn't going to miss them.
I think something, somewhere was determined I wasn't going to see
Wheatus play; for a start all week I've had a stinking cold and
wasn't in the best of moods for going. Secondly, one of the gang
of four who was going was too tired and went home instead…great,
another ticket to tout. Thirdly, yet another of us forgot her ticket,
and fourthly, Jodi got on the wrong train at Norwich and was on
her way to Sheffield instead of London. Oh, things were shaping
up to make this a wonderful evening.
Ok, now I said in the Fear Factory review that I'd started feeling
pretty old going to these gigs even though I am only 25, but this
was even worse than usual. The queue was chock full of kiddies who
for all I know could well have been Smash Hits readers. This I could
deal with, but when the 7 year olds began making their way to the
back of the queue accompanied by their parents, that's when I started
to wonder "do I really belong here?"
So I eventually got inside the place, slightly wet from the sudden
downpour outside. Luckily I had my coat with me so I was nice and
dry, which is more than could be said for the group of girls just
behind me who all got rather wet…from the rain.
The place was pretty empty so I grabbed a table upstairs, just behind
a young, chubby child and his father and thought about what I could
possibly do on my own for the next hour or so. After weighing up
the possibilities I decided to stare at my hands for as long as
I could.
At last the support came on. Now I've never heard of these guys
before but I have to tell you they were surprisingly good and a
lot different to most of the stuff out there. I guess you could
sort of compare them to Soulwax, but with some hip-hop and disco
beats.
They all wore grey shirts with black ties, and the sampler guy had
on a bizarre fez with antlers; reminiscent of the hats worn by the
Benevolent Order of Antelopes in 'Stand By Me'. They played a powerful
set that, after a while, got the kids down the front pogoing nicely,
especially to the disco numbers, and rocking out to the, well, rock
numbers. I wish I could say more, but not knowing too much about
the band I'm at a loss for words.
At this point I was beginning to worry that Jodi was going to miss
the show. She called to say that after switching trains and heading
back down to London, she might be able to make it to the venue for
9pm, just in time for Wheatus. Well it was now about 8:50pm and
my hopes weren't high; it was getting annoying having to tell people
"no there's no one sat in the opposite seat yet, but there will
be soon".
Anyway, with Chunk from the Goonies-esque timing she appears seconds
before the Wheatus make an appearance, and the myriad of young girls
and children around us (who had up till now been shouting "Come
on Wheatus!" and "Wheeee-tuuuuuuus!" like they were cheering them
on in the school swimming gala) screamed at migraine inducing level.
Now I'd forgotten to bring a pen, pencil or at a stretch, crayon
to the gig tonight and was unable to write down the exact set-list;
but they definitely started with the opening to 'Highway To Hell'
by AC/DC which was really cool, then straight into either 'Hey,
Mr. Brown' or 'Hump'em N' Dump'em'. Not that it really matters much,
but I'm trying to paint a reconstruction here, for my benefit as
well as yours.
They had a pretty strange set-up tonight. Brendan, the singer/guitarist
was stood to the far right (his right) of the stage, the percussionist,
who we'll call Mr. Caffeine (I never thought I'd see anyone rock
out playing the tambourine) was plonked in the centre, and who also
provided what was essentially the band entertainment; kind of like
the Wheatus equivalent to Keith Flint from the Prodigy. The bassist
was all the way on the left and the drummer in the rear-centre.
Now all this seems fair enough, but there was a strange addition
of some indie goth type girl stood just to the side who, on occasion,
would apparently help out with the vocals. Now I couldn't actually
make out her voice at any moment, even when I quite clearly saw
her singing into her microphone, so maybe they just put her there
to shut her up and didn't plug her in. I don't know what the deal
was, but after a while I managed to sort of block her from the view.
Kind of like how you manage to ignore the time code on a preview
tape of a movie.
The band all looked decent enough, apart from Brendan who looked,
for want of a better word, skanky. Wearing a large baggy bright
orange t-shirt, pea-green extra baggy sweatpants and long greasy
hair. Looked like he should have been sat at home picking the fluff
out of his feet while eating cereal and watching daytime talk shows.
But his talent far surpassed his appearance. Although he had a decently
sized effects box at his disposal, he made what is essentially a
three-piece band sound amazing live. Especially during 'Sunshine'
where I thought they had used either a sample or Mr. Caffeine to
do the noodles at the end of each chorus, but it turns out its Brendan
with his acoustic.
The set consisted in no particular order, of Sunshine, A Little
Respect (which they announced would be their next single. Bad move
boys, you never release a cover as a single. You will disappear)
which provoked a small moshing circle, something I would never have
expected to see happen during an Erasure song. Hump'em N' Dump'em,
Leroy, Hey, Mr. Brown, Love Is A Mutt From Hell, Wannabe Gangster,
Pretty Girl, I'd Never Write A Song About You and another track
that I'm not sure the title of but it could be called 'When You
Dissed Me'.
Of course they had to come back onstage and play Teenage Dirtbag,
during which they invited some kids onto the stage, the scariest
thing being the rather large, fleeced girl who crawled up resembling,
well…Sasquatch. A high point being when she started jumping up and
down and looked like she was going to knock herself out with her
tits…classic.
Anyway, from Teenage Dirtbag they went straight in the number I'd
been waiting for, 'Truffles', thanked everyone for coming, buying
their records and t-shirts; which I found particularly strange as
they weren't selling any t-shirts tonight, and promptly left the
stage as if Tom Hanks was their manager (if you haven't seen 'That
Thing You Do!' then see it).
Wheatus are a fantastic band to see live, they have great energy
on stage and are highly entertaining, playing to the crowd and appealing
to a wide audience. To put it briefly there's something here for
everyone. Be sure to catch them next time they tour, you'll have
a great night…even if you are on your own for half of it.
david
twomey
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