TOY ROUND UP
Toy review

It's pretty annoying to hear people say that they 'collect' toys, only going after those that could be worth £2 more in 50 years time than they were when they bought them. I still buy toys but I wouldn't call myself a collector, but I don't sit on the carpet playing with them either; well, unless the Decepticons are starting trouble and then I have to get the Autobots to deal with them.

I buy toys simply because they look cool. They are more collectible these days, but that's not to say I keep them in their boxes, never daring to take them out for fear that a few specs of dust will decrease their value. They're also more like sculptures, especially the McFarlane toys, with such high levels of detail and ornate decoration they make my plastic wind-up monkey feel like a bargain-bin reject.

So I've bought a few toys lately that I've been meaning to write a little bit about. But instead of writing a few very small reviews I thought it'd be a better idea to throw them all into one article. And besides, it wraps up issue 3 quite nicely too.


Lego Technics Bionicle: Onua
I first saw ads for this bunch in various US comics and though they looked a little more hardcore and Spwan-esque than your usual Lego affair. After some minor investigating it seems Bionicle is quite a large venture from Lego, involving storylines, multiple characters and even PC games and CD-ROMs.

Only a couple of the figures looked worthwhile for my interests, namely the guy with the huge hooks on each hand and the mean looking dude with overly large claws, Onua. For £4.99 you can't go wrong I say, so I proceeded to buy the little chap.

It's not the most difficult thing to make, the instructions are more than easy to follow, but that's not surprising seeing as it's aimed at 7+ year olds. It's not really too much of a technical beast, consisting of a few cogs, that rotate the arms when the rear cog is turned.

After completion it is revealed that you can combine your little robot of claw death to another two of the Bionicles to make an even bigger robot. Unfortunately it's two of the lamer, more childlike looking robots and the bigger one doesn't look too impressive either. Still, it's damned tempting considering their price tags.


Toy Biz: Marvel - Spider-Man
If there's one character in the Marvel universe that's been itching for a decent action figure its Spidey. For too long we've had to put up with pathetic lines of toys featuring weird made up Spider-Man guises such as Future Spider-Man with Jet Pack and Underwater Spider-Man with Fish Friend and other such variations.

No-one could ever produce a decent plain Spider-Man that looked vaguely like the web-slinger. And even if one came close it was nowhere near as poseable as it should have been.

Spider-Man is one of the most agile characters in comic books, and knocking out a figure whose arachnid-agility stretches to his arms and legs moving up and down a bit just isn't going to cut it.

This new small line of Spidey figures is the real deal though, consisting of Spider-Man, Venom, Black Costume Spider-Man and the highly questionable, Man-Spider. Each figure is super-poseable; the Spider-Man and Black Costume variation each incorporating about 35 points of articulation and a cool base to pose them on.


Monkey Fun Toys:
Jhonen Vasquez's - Filler Bunny
Considering Filler Bunny was originally nothing more than a page filler for the Johnny The Homicidal Maniac comic, it's amazing the little critter has managed to get his own toy before Johnny himself or even Squee.

Filler Bunny, now having two mini-comics of his own because of everyone's love for him, is a small, pink, almost rabbit-looking creature that Jhonen Vasquez (creator of JTHM, Squee, Filler Bunny and I Feel Sick) likes to torture.

This figure doesn't particularly do anything, it's not articulate and can't even stand up on it's own. But it does come in a plastic 'cryo-chamber' like in the comic, and looks totally freaky. Guaranteed to confuse everyone who sets eyes on it who hasn't seen the comics.


Monkey Fun Toys:
Jhonen Vasquez's - Spooky:
The Thing What Squeaks
Spooky was an obvious choice for a toy, purely for the fact that it is a toy in Jhonen Vasquez's comic book 'I Feel Sick'. Spooky is a small squeaky skeleton type thing although quite inanimate has a strange personality of it's own.

It's small, it's made of latex and it squeaks. So just make sure you don't own a dog or there are none around when you squeeze this fella's head because it will go nuts and cover it in drool.

Like Filler Bunny, Spooky doesn't stand on it's own, but the box he comes in is an adequate display stand, especially for the artwork and the six ways to use Spooky on the sides.

david twomey

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