THE HOLE
Film review

When most people think of British cinema they usually think of gritty movies which are, more often than not, dull and more than a little depressing; so after seeing the glossy trailer for the hole, you'd be forgiven for thinking that it wasn't home-grown.

For a start, the characters were pretty; the setting idyllic and there was even a semi-decent soundtrack/title sequence. Actually, at this point it's worth noting that the lead character played by Thora Birch is an American doing a passable English accent - something that is unusual in this kind of movie.

Before I start telling you what I really thought about the film I'll start at the beginning and explain what the thing is about. The movie opens with some rather disconcerting heavy breathing, and I spent the first few minutes trying to work out if it was female or male as we see a lone student stumble towards a rather plush private school.

It doesn't take us long to figure out that she is one of 4 people appearing in missing posters which together with countless ribbons and flowers line the entrance. This stumbling soggy sock wearing thing is the sole survivor of something pretty bad centring on "the hole"

In order to find out what's happened to her and the corpses left behind, queue some very dodgy flashbacks and some very wooden acting.

The school turns out to be a highly exclusive affair where the students are all people you wouldn't actually want to hang out with - even if one of them (the sole American) has a rock star for a parent. And the reason they get locked in the hole? Yep, you guessed it, it's the lone survivors love of the yank combined with the desire of the others to escape the geography field trip to Wales. So the kids party inside the hole until they decide to leave and…oh no! The door won't open…another thing you probably saw coming.

At first we are lead to believe that this is due to some external force/person who is up to no good. In fact, it does not take a rocket scientist to work out that it was the insanity of those inside the hole, who are to blame. This is where the traditional values of sex and partying lead to the pain and suffering of our American friends… The bad things are due to lack of food and water and yes, too much sex, drinking and of course, drugs.

Most of the audience had already guessed by the first quarter of the movie what was going to happen, but for those that needed more of an explanation we were told of the effects of dehydration and how death quickly follows hallucinations and paranoia.

At this point I had become more than a little disappointed and restless, I admit that I've not read the so-called cult novel "After The Hole" by Guy Burt but I could see that the movie had some real potential. Ah the joys of trailers… I had seen the teaser trailer some months ago and although I couldn't remember the title and continued to call it 'the pit' or 'that movie about the people in the dark'. All I can remember about it was how claustrophobic it felt and that it looked really good, so you can imagine my confusion when I saw the trailer, which made it look like some very cheesy American movie. I should have realised then that the movie I first thought I was going to see was very different from the result.

As I have already mentioned, the acting was wooden and the flashbacks were worse than the plotline for Highlander 2 - oh and don't get me onto the police psychologist who befriends our survivor…

For some strange reason I thought that slating this movie would be easy but its not. Perhaps because there was so much that just down right annoyed me I don't know where to start. Maybe it was the new seats in the Odeon that sloped forwards that kept me awake, or the thought that any minute the movie might improve, who can say?

So maybe I am too late with this review and you have already seen this movie, I can only apologise, for those who have not and were thinking about seeing it on a rainy afternoon - don't! Stay at home and watch something else, or at a push peel some fruit.

2/10

jodi fitzalan

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